Balderus

AKA: Everyone.

Apr 7

antimonegrey:

dabluechimp:

antimonegrey:

thispalekid:

hostilehottie:

celestia:

remember

if you can watch this entire video straight through you have the most iron fucking will on the actual planet, in the actual universe. you have gigantic balls of steel. i would not fuck with you. you could come in my house and slap my mom and take my cats and i would just let you. if you can watch all of this you scare the shit out of me

image

"One minute, forty-one seconds? I can handle this."

Confusion

Discomfort

Persistance

Cliches

Success

Regret

"Cats. Just show them to me, please. Mind scrubbing, please. You can keep them, just show them to me. Also, your mom is spared.

Pfft that was easy, luckily you never said I had to listen to it :P

Cheater! D:

I watched it TWICE.
Wimps.


Mar 14
I like using Iscribble.

I like using Iscribble.


Feb 26
“I’m going to try one of your blueberry butt-holes.” My girlfriend after I fixed anus muffins.

Feb 20
Lemme tell you why this is the feces of bovine.First, let’s decide that it is possible for something to be all-powerful. It would not be able to be contained in a physical form since anything with matter is limited in its capabilities. So for something to be infinitely powerful, it’d have to be ethereal or infinite, (Pretty much Magic or Hax.) so if God did have a physical manifestation, it would merely be an avatar created to represent the infinite entity that is OP.Anything physical would be limited since not even the universe has infinite matter. This means that God, still being all-powerful, would not be able to make something infinitely heavier than his strength.It’s also impossible for us to make the longest number due to numbers being infinite.So consider any all-powerful being to be infinite whereas its creations are limited.I’m not saying this means God exists or doesn’t exist. I just got annoyed at the all-powerful thing being screwed up.

Lemme tell you why this is the feces of bovine.

First, let’s decide that it is possible for something to be all-powerful. It would not be able to be contained in a physical form since anything with matter is limited in its capabilities. So for something to be infinitely powerful, it’d have to be ethereal or infinite, (Pretty much Magic or Hax.) so if God did have a physical manifestation, it would merely be an avatar created to represent the infinite entity that is OP.

Anything physical would be limited since not even the universe has infinite matter. This means that God, still being all-powerful, would not be able to make something infinitely heavier than his strength.

It’s also impossible for us to make the longest number due to numbers being infinite.
So consider any all-powerful being to be infinite whereas its creations are limited.

I’m not saying this means God exists or doesn’t exist. I just got annoyed at the all-powerful thing being screwed up.

(via ultigom)



Feb 5

Anonymous asked: This may not be the best place for this question, but I don't have anyone irl I can ask so here goes: I don't masturbate. Never have. It's just not something I realized was even an option as a teen, and now I don't really know where to start. I do think it's more difficult for me to achieve orgasms because I don't really know what I like, so I can't instruct him. The world of Dildos is very intimidating, and I just wondered if you have any advice on where a 21yo first timer should start?

typette:

aburningrose:

whowasntthere:

Sure, I have some personal advice. I’m sure you can find plenty more in-depth stuff online, like tips and techniques, but here are some pointers:

Get to know yourself! Honestly, the only way I found out what I like during masturbation/sex is through experimentation, lots of “practice” and even a few mistakes.

Take your time. Realize that you may not achieve orgasm every single time, and that’s okay: because the more you practice, the better you’ll get, just like with most other things. 

Try a little bit of everything. See what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not. What turns you on? What feels good? Maybe you like penetration; maybe you only like outer stimulation — maybe you like both at the same time! Maybe you like really raunchy fantasies. Or the shower head on a massage function. Or wearing something special. Or going very slowly. It’s okay to see what works and ditch what doesn’t.

Lube Up! Whatever bits you have, a little lube goes a loooong way towards pleasure. Crotch giblets just feel better with a dab of something slippery on them to help the process, plus it helps your fingers/toys/whatever slip around, so you might find a spot you didn’t know you liked before!

Toys Maybe! While most of the time it isn’t necessary to use toys in masturbation, they can be fun and lead to different kinds of orgasms for some folks. But getting to know yourself can really determine what sort of toy you go after (or you might prefer to never buy one or try them all)! If you like outside stimulation, then a vibe bullet, vibrating wand, finger vibrator, etc. can be nice. If you’d rather something more penetrative, then there’s a wide variety of dildos and plugs to choose from! Just see what works with your body and choose accordingly.

Most of all, just have fun! Stay relaxed, laugh at yourself from time to time and just be happy with all the fun ways your body can feel pleasure, whatever it is that it turns out you’re into!

This is solid advice. Practice really does make perfect. Just be comfortable with yourself and before you know it, you’ll be having fun like the rest of us!

image

wow, someone just gave a sex ed class with adventure time gifs

if anything in the world could completely destroy any sort of sexy feelings forever, it’s seeing lemongrab. good choice. >:(

I don’t know; I think Lemongrab is one of the sexier characters in Adventure Time.


Feb 3

Dark Souls is fun

After four deaths (Two of which were me simple putting down the controller to hug my girlfriend,) I finally soloed Ornstein and Smough. (Of course, Ornstein had to be killed last.)
Now to dress like a golden jerk-butt.


endling:

So, guys and gals, I can’t speak for everyone but. When my I put my hand on my fiancee’s face, she can’t stop giggling like a maniac. It works wonders when she’s down in the dumps. I recommend you all try it on your significant others. Just give them a good plap in the face and tell them it’s from me. Tell me how it goes!

I just did it and she just stare at me with a befuddled expression, I started laughing hysterically and she kept licking my palm in attempts for me to remove it.
9/10 will do again.

(via needanotherfix)


Jan 10

Dec 24
phinfrost:

this test has some downright confusing engrish but it seems to be more or less accurate if you can figure out the questions and answer them right

26 years old. 5 years older than my actual age.Apparently, I’m very mature.Boobies are the best pillows.

phinfrost:

this test has some downright confusing engrish but it seems to be more or less accurate if you can figure out the questions and answer them right

26 years old. 5 years older than my actual age.
Apparently, I’m very mature.

Boobies are the best pillows.

(via pechyenka)


Sep 23
ivlostmymindd:

robensemble:

That escalated quickly.

Are you fucking kidding me

ivlostmymindd:

robensemble:

That escalated quickly.

Are you fucking kidding me

I'm so witty

(via metricaprovince)


Sep 21

bearsatan:

djkaeru:

foxesarethebestanimals:

Meet Juno, a very beautiful marble fox, four months old and as just about the sweetest animal I have interacted with, the same as Sktter. She loves being around people, is very very hyper and will stop at nothing to show her love and affection to all those around here. I was fortunate enough to meet the owner and play with this super adorable fox. She is SUCH a sweetheart, and super fluffy to top it off. Juno, you are too freaking adorable! 

♥(人´∀`)♥.☆.。.:*・゚ლ(´∀`ლ) 

kfjghkdh what a cutie!!

(via n1ght1ngal3)


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